(Some may contain spoilerish information)
Things the Dead Do Do (contributed by Aurora) - Posted August 24, 2001
Because They're On Earth, and Things Cost Money, What Jobs Could The Crew Apply For (contributed by theFrey) - Posted August 18, 2001
Really Unsuitable Substitutes for Protoblood - Posted August 11, 2001
Reasons Kai Sings "Yo A Oh" All the Time - Posted August 4, 2001
Things Stan Could Do To Improve His Chances of Getting Some (Contributed by theFrey) - Posted July 27, 2001
Lexxian Euphemisms for Masturbation - Posted July 20, 2001
How/Why Does Kai Create/Manage/Maintain that Most Egregious Hairdo (contributed by Semiramis) - Posted July 14, 2001
Things We Wish Would Happen to 790 (contributed by The Frey) - Posted July 7, 2001
Worst Leisure Spots in the Two Universes - Posted June 30, 2001
Rejected Season 4 Plotlines - Posted June 23, 2001
Things the Dead Do Do (contributed by Aurora)
Well certainly not that! The dead do not doodoo. -- theFrey
Cause major thudding when they walk by. -- theFrey
Tease Xev by their very presence. -- theFrey
Annoy people by intoning "dead do nots" every five minutes. -- theFrey
Lie quite convincingly, because apparently the dead do not do anything they don't want to. :-) -- theFrey
Kiss robot heads and charm spaceships concerned about their appearance. -- theFrey
Keep a poorly promoted Sci-Fi show alive and kicking. -- theFrey
Maintain their hairstyle. Hey, that doesn't leave much time for anything else! Hence all the other "do nots." -- theFrey
Provide complete distraction from the annoyances of everyday life. -- theFrey
Like to bounce balloons. -- theFrey
Provide comfortable seating for Bunny and Tina. -- theFrey
Give piggy back rides. -- theFrey
"The Dead are easily fooled" -- The Rock L4.6 -- Semiramis
Quote Monty Python ("It's only a flesh would") -- Goldfish-Man
The Dead do not "doodoo." - AuntyAlias
Make mighty fine paper weights -- AuntyAlias
Keep your place in line if you have to go "doodoo" while waiting at Costco. -- AuntyAlias
Make up that extra body in the car pool lanes - more believable than the inflated ones. -- AuntyAlias
Avoid the mental distraction of lust. -- AuntyAlias
Keep their word, as opposed to mortal men. -- AuntyAlias
Make for interesting dinner guests. They can keep the conversation going while folks have got food in their faces. -- AuntyAlias
Learn how to play the piano after a fitful start. -- AuntyAlias
Walk in the most sexy manner possible for a biped. -- AuntyAlias
Mold. -- Amyzon
The dead do obey orders (Kai, rub my feet and kill my husband.) -- Lomia
Rot. -- googoljoy
The dead do let the girls kiss 'em and hug 'em, but THAT'S ALL. The dead are nothin' but a tease. -- Aurora
The dead obviously do spend hours in front of the mirror primping: moussing and combing and drying and spraying and ratting and fluffing and brushing and braiding and... -- Aurora
Methinks the dead man doth protest too much. Hmmm? -- Aurora
Walk like Baryshnikov in cowboy boots. -- Aurora
The dead do do that voodoo that they do so well. -- StormBorn
The dead do vogue. -- StormBorn
The dead do get pissy. -- StormBorn
The dead obviously grope female butts. -- StormBorn
The dead do take criticism badly. Very badly. -- StormBorn
The dead do know exactly how sexy they look climbing out of a moth. -- StormBorn
The dead get sick and tired of the living sometimes, you know? -- StormBorn
The dead do have it goin' on, and the dead do' know it, baybee! -- Sarcasmagoria
React in typical male fashion to being called "bunhead." -- Sarcasmagoria
Cause cardiac arrest in various humans simply by speaking. -- Sarcasmagoria
The dead sure can belt out a mean Celtic drinking song. -- Sarcasmagoria
Because They're on Earth, and Things Cost Money, What Jobs Could The Crew Apply For? (contributed by theFrey)
Stan: towel boy in a bath house. -- theFrey
Xev: shampoo girl. Perhaps she could pick up some tips for her own mop of hair. -- theFrey
Kai: hair stylist. I mean come on, every Brunnen-G guy in the world knows how to style hair. I can see it now: Mr. Kai of Wilshire Blvd., Stylist to the Stars. -- theFrey
Kai: grounds keeper. That brace would make short work of pruning and trimming. -- theFrey
Kai: Code Enforcement agent. He wouldn't have to worry about his safety when giving tickets to the jerks in rough neighborhoods. Also, at the request of terrorized little old ladies he might be able to "expedite" judgment against slumlords or crack house dwellers. Which would definitely speed up the fight to clean up the neighborhoods. -- theFrey
Stan: Lackey and chief crawler for Bill Gates. -- theFrey
Xev: Weather Girl. Hey, she's got the tits for it. -- theFrey
Kai: Living (so to speak) art at the Museum of Modern Art. -- theFrey
Kai can become the Pimp Daddy and put Xev and Stan out on the "Ho's Stroll." -- AuntyAlias
Offer visitors flights on the LEXX for a ticket price. -- AuntyAlias
Rent out 790 to perverts. -- AuntyAlias
Teach 790 to say "would you like fries with that, sir?" -- AuntyAlias
Open the LEXX as a bed a breakfast, but only if folks bring their own tasty treats for the LEXX to make breakfast out of. -- AuntyAlias
Drugs. They could sell drugs. Yes, that's the ticket. -- AuntyAlias
Bungee jumping from a moth flyer (did anyone see Jinx's pic of the bungee jumper who pooed himself?) (I must, must, must see this picture!! LMAO! -- Ed.) -- AuntyAlias
Get masochists to pay to visit Prince's "Butterfly Collection" room. -- AuntyAlias
Hire out 790 to the American Government to solve the convoluted tax laws. That should be worth a nickel. -- AuntyAlias
Kai can join the Chippendale Dancers and swing around a pole with his brace. -- AuntyAlias
Stan can open a porn shop specializing in sex toys from around the Two Universes, starting with "Venus Envy" in Halifax. -- AuntyAlias
Take videos of undressing and abusing Kai while in cryosleep and selling it on the Internet for a membership fee. -- AuntyAlias
Hire out the LEXX to competing countries for the highest bidder. -- AuntyAlias
Kai would make a lovely exotic dancer. He's lean, cute and has a built in G-string. -- AuntyAlias
Kai: male stripper with Mantrid as a manager (Mantrid can get him some good clients). (Hmm, do I sense a pattern here? Oh Be-eeannns!! -- Ed.) -- Yayie
Stan: founder of a porn magazine called "The Breast of the Two Universes." -- Yayie
Xev: a Black Widow. She marries rich men only for her cluster lizard part to kill them later. She gains millions. -- Yayie
Kai: bathing suit model. AMEN! -- Lightning and Thunder
Xev: Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- Lightning and Thunder
Stanley: Burger flipper -- Lightning and Thunder
790: Insulting comedian. -- Lightning and Thunder
As the only one with any skills (other than killing people or screwing), Stan would open a successful private detective agency with Xev and Kai as handy dandy employees. He would, of course, get a major cut of the profits while paying the others minimum wage, thus making them dependent on him. 790 would be sold as a prototype at an International Toy Fair. -- StormBorn
Kai would become an enforcer for an international drug cartel, explaining that providing pleasure for the masses is not something that he finds morally wrong. -- StormBorn
Kai, Last of the Brunnen-G and the best car wash attendant in the Two Universes! -- StormBorn
Xev decides she likes Texas and becomes a waitress in a roadside diner. -- StormBorn
Stan pimps out Xev and Kai and becomes known as "Captain Pimp Daddy." With the LEXX and 790 as his "posse," he releases a string of rap hits. -- StormBorn
Kai, the librarian, has a unique way of collecting overdue fines. -- StormBorn
Kai could join the military and put his many skills to use as an international assassin for the CIA, an indestructible test pilot for the Air Force and alien liaison for the folks at Area 51. -- Basilisk
Xev can settle in the Las Vegas desert and establish herself as a high-priced call girl. All the sex she wants and basking in the hot desert sun between clients. -- Basilisk
790 could do a stint as an 800 line phone sex provider. -- Basilisk
Stan could be a disgruntled janitor at a women's college where he could be rejected and disparaged by hordes of women on a daily basis. -- Basilisk
One job only: 790 hacks into the world bans and siphons off millions into numbered accounts scattered across the Caymans, Switzerland and anyplace else people hid their money. -- Aurora
Kai has no sense of humor, and he can be very scary; so he's perfect host The Weakest Link. He can take the show to the next level: "You ARE the weakest link," whhhhp-THWACK! -- Aurora
Kai: elementary school teacher. That brace and his little "I have killed..." speech should keep the little darlings in line. -- Morbien
Stan: stocks vending machines. -- Morbien
Xev: professional party girl, escort services. -- Morbien
Kai: shill for a chain of ersatz Mexican fast food joints. "Yo A Yo Quiero Taco Bell," anyone? -- Sarcasmagoria
Kai: Plumber. I'll bet that brace of his could snake out a toilet like nobody's business! -- Sarcasmagoria
790: Howard Stern's new sidekick. Hey, they've gotta do something to make Stern less annoying! -- Sarcasmagoria
Xev: Annie Sprinkle-esque performance artist. -- Sarcasmagoria
Really Unsuitable Substitutes for Protoblood
Heinz Jalapeņo Ketchup. -- theFrey
KY Jelly -- theFrey
Mobil 10W30 Motor Oil, even the premium brand just doesn't cut it. -- theFrey
Hershey's Chocolate Syrup. Not only doesn't it work really good, but Kai has to keep hiding it from Xev. -- theFrey
Coke. Since everyone knows Kai should use Pepsi. It has been reanimating dead programmers, college students and office workers for years. -- theFrey
Recycled motor oil. -- Logan55
Chemical sludge. -- Logan55
Aveda shampoo. -- Logan55
Lemon Jell-O. -- Logan55
Jalapeņo pepper jelly (the really hot kind) -- Logan55
Cloverleaf honey. -- Logan55
Dijon mustard. -- Logan55
Hawaiian Wedding Punch (but he'd feel SOOOOOOOOOOO good he wouldn't care!) -- Logan55
Super glue, it'll gum up the works. -- AuntyAlias
Mayo. It'll go bad and stink. -- AuntyAlias
Cover Girl makeup. It'll make Kai look too healthy. -- AuntyAlias
LSD, for obvious reasons. "I can see my brace, my brace, my brace..." -- AuntyAlias
Rhino horn powder, Spanish Fly and oyster sauce. Remember, he ain't got no goolies. (Aw, man, ruin my fantasy, why don't you! -- Ed.) -- AuntyAlias
Beer, he'll get a big old belly. -- AuntyAlias
Salsa. He'll grow a mustache and start saying, "yo, Vato...o'dalay." -- AuntyAlias
Soy Sauce. It'll make him too brown and he'll start bowing left and right for no good reason. -- AuntyAlias
Pepsi (But...but...theFrey said.... -- Ed.) -- StormBorn
Red Bull -- StormBorn
Semen. No, wait, that would be a really suitable substitute! -- StormBorn
Liquid Metabolife. -- StormBorn
Lusty female drool. -- Aurora
Cherry Kool-Aid. You could make your own Kai-shaped popsicles, but I think it'd piss him off. -- Aurora
Pineapple Banana-flavored massage oil. -- Aurora
Piss, ice cream, lizard mucus, anchovies, Haggis, pus, sulfur dioxide, cat puke, fly saliva, windshield washer fluid, hydrolized yeast products and semen. (Hey! Where'd you get the recipe for my meatloaf?! -- Ed.) -- googoljoy
Bongwater. -- Sarcasmagoria
Budwieser. Actually, that stuff is a pretty lousy substitute for beer, too! -- Sarcasmagoria
Reasons Kai Sings "Yo A Oh" All the Time
Sometimes that codpiece pinches in tender places, you know. -- theFrey
It impresses chicks, they like a guy what can look studly while singing silly songs and wearing the hairdo from Hell. -- theFrey
It's the only song he knows. Hey, the hair care time required by a Brunnen-G warrior does not leave a lot of time for other things! -- theFrey
It aggravates Stan. -- theFrey
It soothes the savage 790. -- theFrey
He thinks if he sings it enough times, perhaps everyone else will start using his pronunciation of Brunnen-G at the end. -- theFrey
It's not a song, it's actually a Brunnen-G vocal exercise. His Divine Shadow just killed 'em off before they could really get started with the real song. -- Mantrid's Ho
It's a mating call for other dead people. -- Mantrid's Ho
When he notices he's starting to smell a little and needs to be put back in the freezer. -- Mantrid's Ho
In loving tribute to his elaborate hairstyle. -- Mantrid's Ho
The "Yo A Oh" is actually a phrase Kai used in the job he had on Brunnis 2. The profession? counter person at McBrunnis. The translation? "Is that for here or to go?" -- Mantrid's Ho
To hypnotize Stan and Xev into doing his bidding. -- Mantrid's Ho
The singing is a side effect from the prolonged use of protoblood. -- Mantrid's Ho
Because he has a pubic hair caught in the back of his throat...oh, I wish. -- AuntyAlias
He is practicing Ebonics and was going for "Yo, a Ho!" -- AuntyAlias
He is remember what it was like to cry out in a sexual frenzy. -- AuntyAlias
Because he remembers the tune but forgot the verses. -- AuntyAlias
He loves Ella Fitzgerald's jazz style. -- AuntyAlias
He has ambition of being the next Frank Sinatra. -- AuntyAlias
He forgot that it was "Yo EEE Yooo" because of cryopod freezer burn-induced amnesia. -- AuntyAlias
He thought he saw someone he knew, and was hailing them then realized it wasn't them. "Yo!...Ah...oh..." -- AuntyAlias
It's the lullaby his Mommy always sang. -- StormBorn
"I know there's another verse, I know it! Why can't I remember?" -- StormBorn
Because he feels "Jimmy Crack Corn" would be somehow inappropriate. -- StormBorn
It's just one of those tunes you can't get out of your head. -- StormBorn
Sadly, Kai died before completing his "Yodel Like Wilf Carter" correspondence course... -- JLS
It's the Brunnen-G version of The Alphabet Song. -- Logan55
Because the real meaning ("I Hate Stan") is, well, tacky. -- Logan55
He's positive that this time he'll pass remedial Spanish. -- Logan55
It's the only song he knows. -- Minecritter
He forgot the words to "Freebird." -- Sarcasmagoria
Though it has a cool beat and all, "Smack My Bitch Up" just didn't do enough for morale. -- Sarcasmagoria
It was either that or "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall," and, well, you know... -- Sarcasmagoria
It was the last song he heard on the radio before he left Brunnis 2, and it got stuck in his head. However, to Kai's eternal detriment, "Yo A Oh" in English means "Oops, I Did It Again." Poor bastard. -- Sarcasmagoria
Things Stan Could Do To Improve His Chances of Getting Some
Duct tape his mouth shut. - theFrey
Get a hundred dollars and go down to Harry Hines Blvd. Well, he's going to be in Texas, he could you know. -- theFrey
Change out of that stupid jumpsuit. -- theFrey
Try making eye contact. -- theFrey
Whine, beg and plead in a less irritating tone of voice. -- theFrey
Not be seen with Kai. The comparison is just too painful. -- theFrey
Wear something a little sexier than those white briefs of his. -- theFrey
Read "Getting Some for Dummies." -- theFrey
Stop mentioning his urges in the first 30 seconds of a conversation. -- theFrey
Quit threatening to blow up planets if he doesn't get some "satisfaction." The potential destruction of you home might mar the moment for a lot of women. -- theFrey
Get another outfit. -- AuntyAlias
Ditch the hat. -- AuntyAlias
Come to the point sooner. Stop dancing around with the coy shit. -- AuntyAlias
Grow his hair and dye it black. -- AuntyAlias
Borrow Thodin's miniskirt. -- AuntyAlias
Consider interspecies possibilities. There's always the tongue in the toilet, after all. (eep! -- Ed.) -- AuntyAlias
Have the LEXX produce deodorant. -- AuntyAlias
Pick up some hitch hikers from the edge of the universe. They are always looking for a new thrill. -- AuntyAlias
Sell Crack. -- AuntyAlias
Using the LEXX's destructive powers, hold planets hostage and threaten destruction unless they send up all the "fine babes" they got. Blow up a moon to demonstrate. -- AuntyAlias
Recognize the growing population of Stan Sluts on the little blue-green planet and let them do it to him...over and over again. -- AuntyAlias
Get that puppy he always wanted and go walk the dog. Puppies are always "babe magnets." -- AuntyAlias
Reprogram the moth breeders to comply to his every desire. -- AuntyAlias
Get a Kai makeover, ditch the uniform, keep the hat and tell everyone he has the most powerful tool in the Two Universes. -- Yayie
Embroider his hat with a "69" instead of a four. -- Mantrid's Ho
Use white powder for that deathly white pallor look. A lot of chicks seem to dig that. -- Mantrid's Ho
Start using, "look, sleep with me or I blow up your planet!" as a pick-up line. -- Mantrid's Ho
It couldn't hurt to try a bun. Well, it works for the dead guy! -- Aurora
Submit to a complete overhaul in male Lusticon from the molecular level up. -- luxilluminata
Change his designation to "Security Guard Class Foreplay." -- Sarcasmagoria
Scoop up Kai's "cast-offs" on the rebound. -- Sarcasmagoria
Start a rumor that the "H" in "Stanley H. Tweedle" stands for "Hung like a horse." -- Sarcasmagoria
Solicit sexual favors in exchange for the chance to use the LEXX to blow up one's workplace or ex-boyfriend's house. Well, that's all it would take for me! -- Sarcasmagoria
Lexxian Euphemisms for Masturbation
"Wake the Dead" -- JLS
The Mantrid Drone Hand Job -- AuntyAlias
Getting Robot head -- AuntyAlias
Squishing -- AuntyAlias
Mashing the Potato (for Capt. Moss) -- AuntyAlias
Choking the food tube -- AuntyAlias
"The dead do not wank" -- AuntyAlias
Doint the key transfer -- AuntyAlias
Smoothing around the bend -- AuntyAlias
Tunneling (getting down and dirty 3.7) -- AuntyAlias
Nooking the knob -- AuntyAlias
Raising the gondola -- AuntyAlias
"Non-girls do not wank. Record that and send copies. Next on the agenda?" -- AuntyAlias
Yumming the drumsticks -- AuntyAlias
Wasting the skin -- AuntyAlias
P.O.F.ing (only when Prince of Fire is diddling with Kai or Stan in the guise of Xev) -- AuntyAlias
Last but not least...flying the LEXX -- AuntyAlias
Riding the robot head -- StormBorn
Stickin' the bun -- StormBorn
Doint the old 'twist and pull' -- StormBorn
The codpiece dance -- StormBorn
Manufacturing some bug juice -- StormBorn
Spanking the moth -- 790
Milking the goo tube -- 790
Checking the cryopod -- 790
The dead do not have sexual congress. But they have been rumored to adjust themselves vigorously. -- The Frey
Yanking the rods -- The Frey
Tweedling. As in: I'm just sitting here, thinking about you and tweedling myself. -- The Frey
Scrubbing the cryopod -- Crazycrone
Priming the linear accelerator -- Logan55
Swatting the big bug -- Sarcasmagoria
Doing the solo Humpy Jumpy Dance -- Sarcasmagoria
Waxing the robot head -- Sarcasmagoria
Doing it Tweedle Style -- Sarcasmagoria
How/Why Does Kai Create/Manage/Maintain that Most Egregious Hairdo (contributed by Semiramis)
By not bathing. It's held with ambient grime. the same stuff that is keeping his outfit together. -- AuntyAlias
Lyekka's plant tube sucks Kai's hair up and realizing Kai's dead spits it out in an even spiral. "Thank you," Kai says, taking the last strand and winding it around the base of the bun. -- AuntyAlias
He sleeps standing up. -- AuntyAlias
The cryochamber is cold, freezes them hairs in place. -- AuntyAlias
Sets it with beer...hey, that worked back in the days before Dippity Do. -- AuntyAlias
Has the Moth Breeders fix it for him, he reprogrammed them to braid quickly. -- AuntyAlias
It's NOT all hair, just the top layer. The rest is BRACE CABLE, that's where it's all stored. Didn't you know that? -- AuntyAlias
As a youth, Kai and the other Brunnen-G newborns were required to spend two weekends a month at beautician's boot camp until they received their tattoos. -- The Frey
Kai's brace also has a "rat-tail comb" configuration. -- The Frey
More important than the secret of eternal life, the Brunnen-G also unlocked the secret of the eternal permanent. -- The Frey
The dead do not have to manage/create/maintain their hair. -- Kai
Secretly, when Xev is asleep, Stan sneaks in and does my hair. I think I have even seen him licking my cryopod. -- Kai
He used it as a way to avoid being worn out by almost constant sexual advances before his death. "No honey, I can't possibly do it tonight, I need to wash/style my hair," or the ever popular "not now, you'll muss my hair." -- Amyzon
He doesn't. It's a wig! He'll just put a few drops of protoblood to smooth it out, though. -- Yayie
If you sneak onto the LEXX late at night, you might be lucky enough to catch Kai primping in front of the mirror, equipped with Xev's hairbrush and a dab of protoblood for hold -- XevZev
When the others are sleeping, Kai uses his bun to smuggle drugs to pay for his hairstylist. -- XevZev
The 101st use for a dead black cat (with the tail for the lovelock). And if you look very carefully in Wake the Dead, you can see the little paws hanging down. (*Snarf!* - Ed.) -- JLS
He has a fortune invested in styling products - do you think he'd give up that hairdo now?!? -- StormBorn
The dead do not wear crew-cuts -- StormBorn
How: a bicycle pump and lots of duct tape. -- Sarcasmagoria
Why: because nothing says "booty magnet" like a big ol' bun and braid -- Sarcasmagoria
Why: just in case he's ever chased by the baddies in Las Vegas, he'll be able to blend in seamlessly with a passing group of Elvis impersonators. -- Sarcasmagoria
Why: Because a rainbow-striped 'Fro would just be too flashy, y'know? -- Sarcasmagoria
Why: to pay homage to his beloved Brunnen-G mentor, Littele Ry'Charde. -- Sarcasmagoria
Things We Wish Would Happen To 790 (contributed by The Frey)
790 falls in love with Kryten 2X4B 523P. - Majsan
790 realizes the piece of brain he got comes from Stan. -- Majsan
Stan, Xev and Kai finally discover that 790's piece of brain contains essence from the Giga Shadow -- Majsan
790 and 7of9 have secret meeting and plant to take over the universe. Their catchphrase is "Robotics rules! We won't give up until we own all human souls." -- Majsan
Fall in love with Stan, the Man!" -- Yayie
790 trapped, voice chip de-activated, facing Stan as he takes his shower. -- XevZev
790 stranded at Disney World. -- XevZev
790 proposing marriage to the love of his life -- Mickey Mouse. -- XevZev
Finally, 790 gazes upon something even more stunning than his beloved -- his own reflection. -- XevZev
That he finds Pinocchio's Fricking Fairy so he can become a real boy. -- AuntyAlias
To see 790 cobble together with a tractor mower and a heavy duty industrial vibrator. What a ride!! -- AuntyAlias
For 790 to get that 791 body back. -- AuntyAlias
To have his wish of a fist up his neck hole come true. -- AuntyAlias
To have 790 and Kai interface with them goolie probes and 790's open neck. Have a Kai with a smart-talking robot head for goolies. Now that's an image. (Indeed! - Ed.) -- AuntyAlias
Just to see Giggerota carry 790 about in that head sack at the back of her neck, just for a bit, just for gruesome fun. -- AuntyAlias
To outfit 790 with a workable tongue and lips. YOW!! -- AuntyAlias
I would like to see 790 be sold to Microsoft as a gift for Bill Gates. he would of course be upgraded/inflicted with Windows ME, given to Billy the Gates and then reactivated, becoming Bill's Windows driven/buggy love slave. -- They Frey
I, er, she finally finds a body, gains control of the LEXX and strands the incompetent security guard class none and the love slut on that uninteresting little blue planet, and thereupon flies off to perfect bilss with my, er, her delicious dead man. -- 790
Sentenced to life in prison. Becomes the cafeteria vending machine's "bitch." -- Sarcasmagoria
Broken down into bits and reassembled as Rosie O'Donnell's vibrator. -- Sarcasmagoria
He and Bender from Futurama attempt to outsnark each other. -- Sarcasmagoria
Worst Leisure Spots in the Two Universes
The Princess Cruise Line proudly announces the inaugural voyage of its new flagship transport, the Pris~On. It's a cool, cool trip to the center of The Cluster, one of our most popular destinations. Exclusive attractions for our gueses include many specialty tours. Sign up for a ground view of what's happening in the Cluster Arena. Other tours include an up-close view of the inner workings of His Divine Shadow's new Battle Cruiser. Book your cruise now, because after The Cleansing it will be too late! -- The Frey
Fire. Prince is there. -- Yayie
Jail in any universe. -- AuntyAlias
Disney World, where everyone is acting like it's normal to walk around wearing mouse ears. -- AuntyAlias
On clean-up crew in the Giga Shadow's lower pipes. -- AuntyAlias
Feppo and Smoor's Pleasure Palace, dressed up in their drag outfits. -- AuntyAlias
My late daddy's trailer, in the summer, without AC. -- AuntyAlias
In the cryochamber, without Kai. -- AuntyAlias
On a fresh roadkill vacation with Giggerotta down Route 66. -- AuntyAlias
After getting a message from the planet N.U.D.I.S.T., Stan tells the LEXX to fly to the planet immediately, expecting lots of nude women. When he arrives at the planet, he realizes that N.U.D.I.S.T. means Nerds Unit Designed for Infiltration and Scientific Terrorism and flees for his life. -- Majsan
Six Flags Over Klaagya. -- Sarcasmagoria
Cobalt Stadium Cluster Lizard Petting Zoo -- Sarcasmagoria
The beach. Just trust me on this one. -- Sarcasmagoria
Uncle Duke's Archery Kamp 4 Kidz -- Sarcasmagoria
The question "What does Kai got under his codpiece" ends up on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and the answers are:
A bag of nuts
His life savings
A Snickers bar
Only God knows
-- Majsan
Lyekka gets a role in Little Shop of Horrors and accidentally eats the producer. -- Majsan
Xev and Zev end up in a violent catfight after having arguing who is the real Xev/Zev. -- Majsan
While on the little blue planet, Kai discovers a readily available protoblood substitute. It is made by a company called Pepsi. It's beneficial effects can be attested to by the legions of dead programmers and college students that it has reanimated over the years. -- The Frey
The LEXX lands on Earth and desires a sex change while Stanley has a secret affair with the love of his life -- 790. -- Yayie
George W. Bush plans on stealing the LEXX to blow up abortion clinics. -- Yayie
The LEXX goes insane and blows up Earth while the crew is away, leaving Kai to drift endlessly in space. Bored, he unravels his costume and takes up crochet, using his brace as a crochet hook. -- StormBorn
Kai and 790 decide they're the perfect couple, as neither of them have any functional naughty bits, leaving Xev to turn to Stan in desperations. -- StormBorn
A nervous little blonde kid follows Kai around for an entire episode asking if there's something he needs to tell him. -- Sarcasmagoria
Forget Feppo and Smoor, this time Stanley Tweedle runs afoul of Siegfried and Roy! -- Sarcasmagoria
Prince hooks up with George W. Bush at a "World Domination for Dummies" seminar. Hijinks ensue. -- Sarcasmagoria
Darling, delightful, delicious Xev forgets all about Kai after a day spent with darling, delightful, delicious Ricky Martin. -- Sarcasmagoria
Giggerota reincarnated as Anna Nicole Smith. -- Sarcasmagoria
Kai walks into a goth nightclub and walks out ten minutes later with a wheelbarrow full of phone numbers. -- Sarcasmagoria
"OK, who's the ever lovin' GENIUS who installed Windows NT on 790?!?" -- Sarcasmagoria
Kai awakens from cryosleep and announces "I know Kung Fu." -- Sarcasmagoria
A brace malfunction causes Kai to accidentally decapitate Eminem. The universe rejoices. -- Sarcasmagoria
The future of the LEXX grows darker when it confronts the only force in the universe more powerful than its weapon -- Russell Crowe's ego. -- Sarcasmagoria